I'm not working today.
I didn't work yesterday, either.
If the babies are sleeping, I'm working. That's just how it goes around here lately. But yesterday I made a choice to not work. Instead I blogged for the first time in almost six months, I read my blog roll all the way through, I cleaned the kitchen, put away laundry, spray painted a chair on the lawn (which is apparently not a good idea, according to the husband. Who knew spray paint kills grass? Plus, it's red. It looks like I killed a bear.)
And today, when the kids went down for naps and I sat down to work, it just didn't happen. I think perhaps my brain is telling me to take a break for a minute and just be happy for today. That sounds cheesy. But I got to thinking after my post yesterday. A few of the comments said "Hang in there!". I worried that I sounded like I was complaining about my kiddos. Sure, things are crazy around here, but my life is AWESOME. Really. I know that in 10 years I am going to look back on these few years I am lucky enough to be home with my babies and remember them as the best time in my life. I know, as a 40 year old, that I will curse my 30 year old self for worrying so much about work, money, what's next, etc. 40 year old Tracy will tell 30 year old Tracy to relax and enjoy her wonderful kids, her crazy old house, her sweet husband, and her amazing life. 40 year old Tracy will tell me to stop worrying about losing baby weight, getting the house "done", and figuring out what the next step is. (40 year old Tracy will probably tell 30 year old Tracy to stop pulling out her gray hairs, too.)
So today I'm not working. I'm not worrying about the work that I have to do. I'm watching my son sleep in his swing, waiting for my daughter to wake up from her nap, and appreciating how truly lucky I am to be here, right now.
Take that 40 year old Tracy.